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Marriage

Don’t be jealous if I spend 50% of my time with you and 50% of my time with others, because you get 100% of 50%, while all the others have to share that other 50%. This is the speech I’ve prepared to tell my wife in the future, when I’m spending a majority minus one percent of my time with my clones.

- Jarod Kintz
The man may be the head of the household. But the woman is the neck and she can turn the head whichever way she pleases.
- Nia Vardalos
From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven, and when two souls that are destined to be together find each other, the streams of light flow together and a single brighter light goes forth from that united being.
- Baal Shem Tov
The heart is like a woman and the head is like a man, and although man is the head of woman, woman is the heart of man, and she turns man's head because she turns his heart.
- Peter Kreeft
Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate but through being the right mate.
- Barnett R. Brickner
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
- Henny Youngman
Marriage was not the combination of two entities into one; it was instead the creation of a third entity whose sole purpose was to soothe and inspire the two individuals.
- Christian Cantrell
Some marriages are made in heaven, but they all have to be maintained on earth.
- Debbie Macomber
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
- Agatha Christie
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
- Rodney Dangerfield
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