Quotations
Funny
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
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