Quotations
Funny
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
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