Quotations
Funny
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
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