Quotations
Funny
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
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