Quotations
Funny
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
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