Quotations
Funny
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
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