Quotations
Funny
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
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