Quotations
Funny
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
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