Quotations
Funny

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin

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