Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
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