Quotations
Funny
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
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