Quotations
Funny
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
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