Quotations
Funny

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin

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