Quotations
Funny
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
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