Quotations
Funny
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
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