Quotations
Funny
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
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