Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
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