Quotations
Funny
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
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