Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
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