Quotations
Funny

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde

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