Quotations
Funny

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

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