Quotations
Funny
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
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