Quotations
Funny
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
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