Quotations
Funny
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
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