Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
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