Quotations
Funny
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
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