Quotations
Funny
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
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