Quotations
Funny
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
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