Quotations
Funny
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Subscribe to our Newsletter
Note: Your personal data will be used by Simply Knowledge for the purpose of providing you with the Newsletter service, which you have specifically requested.
Your data are safe with Simply Knowledge
Login
Enter your e-mail and password to access account
New Users Register
Register to enjoy the benefits of Simply Knowledge.

