Quotations
Funny
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
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