Quotations
Funny
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
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