Quotations
Funny
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
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