Quotations
Funny
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
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