Quotations
Funny
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
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