Quotations
Funny
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
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