Quotations
Funny
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
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