Quotations
Funny

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead

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