Quotations
Funny
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
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