Quotations
Funny
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
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