Quotations
Funny

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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