Quotations
Funny
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
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