Quotations
Funny
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
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