Quotations
Funny
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
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