Quotations
Funny

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain

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