Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
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