Quotations
Funny
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
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