Quotations
Funny
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
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