Quotations
Funny

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin

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