Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner
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