Quotations
Funny
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
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