Quotations
Funny
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
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