Quotations
Funny
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
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