Quotations
Funny

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw

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