Quotations
Funny
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
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