Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
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