Quotations
Funny
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
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