Quotations
Funny
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
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