Quotations
Funny
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
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