Quotations
Funny

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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