Quotations
Funny
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
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