Quotations
Funny
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
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