Quotations
Funny
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
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