Quotations
Funny
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner
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