Quotations
Funny

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain

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