Quotations
Funny
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
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