Quotations
Funny
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
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