Quotations
Funny
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
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