Quotations
Funny
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
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