Quotations
Funny
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
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