Quotations
Funny
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
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