Quotations
Funny
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
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