Quotations
Funny
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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