Quotations
Funny
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
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