Quotations
Funny
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
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