Quotations
Funny
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
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