Quotations
Funny
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
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