Quotations
Funny
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
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