Quotations
Funny
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
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