Quotations
Funny
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
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