Quotations
Funny
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
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