Quotations
Funny
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
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