Quotations
Funny
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
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