Quotations
Funny
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
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