Quotations
Funny
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
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