Quotations
Funny
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
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