Quotations
Funny
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
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