Quotations
Funny
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
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