Quotations
Funny
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
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