Quotations
Funny
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
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