Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
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