Quotations
Funny
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
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