Quotations
Funny
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
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