Quotations
Funny
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
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