Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
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