Quotations
Funny
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
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