Quotations
Funny
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
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