Quotations
Funny
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
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