Quotations
Funny
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
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