Quotations
Funny
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
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