Quotations
Funny

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw

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