Quotations
Funny
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill
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