Quotations
Funny
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
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