Quotations
Funny
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
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