Quotations
Funny
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
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