Quotations
Funny
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
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