Quotations
Funny
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
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