Quotations
Funny

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

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