Quotations
Funny
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
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