Quotations
Funny
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
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