Quotations
Funny

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain

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