Quotations
Funny
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
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