Quotations
Funny

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

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