Quotations
Funny
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
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