Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
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