Quotations
Funny
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
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