Quotations
Funny
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner
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