Quotations
Funny
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
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