Quotations
Funny
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
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