Quotations
Funny
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
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