Quotations
Funny
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
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