Quotations
Funny
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
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