Quotations
Funny
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
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