Quotations
Funny
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
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