Quotations
Funny
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
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