Quotations
Funny
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
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