Quotations
Funny
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
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