Quotations
Funny
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
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