Quotations
Funny
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
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