Quotations
Funny
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
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