Quotations
Funny
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
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