Quotations
Funny
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
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