Quotations
Funny
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
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