Quotations
Funny
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
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