Quotations
Funny
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
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