Quotations
Funny
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
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