Quotations
Funny
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
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