Quotations
Funny
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
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