Quotations
Funny
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
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