Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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