Quotations
Funny
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
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