Quotations
Funny
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
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