Quotations
Funny
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
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