Quotations
Mark Twain

Be good and you will be lonesome.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

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