Quotations
Mark Twain

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

God: The most popular scapegoat for our sins.

God

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

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