Quotations
Mark Twain

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.



Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

God: The most popular scapegoat for our sins.

God

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

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