Quotations
Mark Twain

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

Funny

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

Funny

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Inspiration

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

Inspiration

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

Funny

The lack of money is the root of all evil.

Evil

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.

Self - Discovery

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Funny

Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.

Civilization

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Funny
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