Quotations
Funny

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

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