When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
