I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
