Quotations
Funny

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

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