When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
