I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
