I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Quotations
Funny
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
