The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Quotations
Funny
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
