You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
Quotations
Funny
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
