Quotations
Funny

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

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