Quotations
Funny

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

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