I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
