Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
