When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
