Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
