He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
