Quotations
Funny

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

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