I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Quotations
Funny
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
