Quotations
Funny

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

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