When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Quotations
Funny
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
