Quotations
Funny

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

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