The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
Quotations
Funny
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
