When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
