I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
