Quotations
Funny

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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