I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
