When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
