Quotations
Funny

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

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