Quotations
Funny

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

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