Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
