Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
