When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
