The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
Quotations
Funny
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
