Quotations
Funny

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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