A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Quotations
Funny
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
