Quotations
Funny

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

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