When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
