Quotations
Funny

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

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