When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Quotations
Funny
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
