I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
