As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
