Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
