The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Quotations
Funny
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
