Quotations
Funny

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

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