When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
