I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
Quotations
Funny
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
