I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Quotations
Funny
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
