Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
