When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
