The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
