When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Quotations
Funny
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
