I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
