The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Quotations
Funny
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
