The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
