Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Quotations
Funny
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
