Quotations
Funny

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

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