Quotations
Funny

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

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