Quotations
Funny

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

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