My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Quotations
Funny
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
