Quotations
Funny

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

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