I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Quotations
Funny
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
