Quotations
Funny

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

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