Quotations
Funny

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

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