Quotations
Funny

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

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