Quotations
Mark Twain

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

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