Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
God: The most popular scapegoat for our sins.
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
Be good and you will be lonesome.
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
