Quotations
Mark Twain

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

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