Quotations
Mark Twain

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.



Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

Be good and you will be lonesome.

What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

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