Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
God: The most popular scapegoat for our sins.
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
The lack of money is the root of all evil.