Quotations
Mark Twain

God: The most popular scapegoat for our sins.

God

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

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