Quotations
Mark Twain

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.

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