Quotations
Mark Twain

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.

God: The most popular scapegoat for our sins.

God

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.

Be good and you will be lonesome.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

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