Quotations
Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

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