When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
We can’t reach old age by another man’s road.
