Be good and you will be lonesome.
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand
Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.