Quotations
Mark Twain

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.

It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

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