Quotations
Mark Twain

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

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