You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
We can’t reach old age by another man’s road.
Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
