Quotations
Mark Twain

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

God: The most popular scapegoat for our sins.

God

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Be good and you will be lonesome.

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

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