God: The most popular scapegoat for our sins.
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Be good and you will be lonesome.
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
We can’t reach old age by another man’s road.
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
