Quotations
Mark Twain

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

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