When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
God: The most popular scapegoat for our sins.
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
