Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
