Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
