Quotations
Funny

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

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