Quotations
Funny

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

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