I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Quotations
Funny
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
