I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
