Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Quotations
Funny
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
