When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
