Quotations
Funny

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

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