When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
