Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
