When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Quotations
Funny
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
