Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
