He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
