Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
