Don’t be jealous if I spend 50% of my time with you and 50% of my time with others, because you get 100% of 50%, while all the others have to share that other 50%. This is the speech I’ve prepared to tell my wife in the future, when I’m spending a majority minus one percent of my time with my clones.
Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
-Mae West
"The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said"
If he can't handle you at your worst then he does not deserve you at your best. Real love means seeing beyond the words spoken out of pain and instead seeing a person's soul.
-Shannon L. Alder
"300 Questions LDS Couples Should Ask Before marriage"
The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast.
-Gabriel García Márquez
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-Milton Berle
When a girl marries, she exchanges the attention of many men for the inattention of one.
-Helen Rowland
There is a French saying; Love is the dawn of marriage and marriage is the sunset of love.
-De Finod
From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven, and when two souls that are destined to be together find each other, the streams of light flow together and a single brighter light goes forth from that united being.
-Baal Shem Tov
There is nothing more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
-Homer
"The Odyssey"
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
-Rita Rudner
