Don’t be jealous if I spend 50% of my time with you and 50% of my time with others, because you get 100% of 50%, while all the others have to share that other 50%. This is the speech I’ve prepared to tell my wife in the future, when I’m spending a majority minus one percent of my time with my clones.
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
-Erma Bombeck
When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence. When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment.
-Warren Farrell
When a girl marries, she exchanges the attention of many men for the inattention of one.
-Helen Rowland
A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day.
-André Maurois
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Marriage is more about work than about divine luck, more about finding someone to love than about finding someone to meet your own laundry list of personal needs.
-Mark Gorman
Marriage should be between a spouse and a spouse, not a gender and a gender.
-Hendrik Hertzberg
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-Milton Berle
A good husband is never the first to go to sleep at night or the last to awake in the morning.
-Honoré De Balzac
